One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given

I have a confession to make: I haven’t been very kind to myself lately.

Life has been busy. The kids have been busy. The ranch has been busy. And I’ve been going full speed ahead, juggling 20 things at a time when my plate technically only fits 10. It’s part of my personality, to take on too much and smile while I do it. And sometimes that works.

But sometimes it doesn’t. When I do this - expect way more from myself than I have the capacity for - it almost always comes crashing down at one point or another. And lately, I’ve been dropping balls left and right.

Instead of recognizing what’s happening, I’ve resorted to belittling. With the target being myself.

We’ve all done it - negative self talk. We place our expectations at an unattainable level, and when we fall short at any point, we come down on ourselves harder than anyone else ever could.

We look in the mirror and pick apart everything we don’t like.
We yell at our kids and tell ourselves we are the worst parents in the world.
We forget an appointment or task and feel like a failure.
We eat a donut and call ourselves fat.
We fight with our spouse and decide we aren’t worthy of love.
We make mistakes and don’t give ourselves any grace.

It’s a vicious cycle, and one that can be detrimental to every other part of our lives. It affects our relationships with those around us, and our relationship with ourselves.

And that’s where I’ve been living lately; in the land of ‘not good enough,’ and frankly it’s a pretty shitty place to vacation.

But do you want to know what some of the best advice I’ve ever been given is?

Every time you speak to yourself, pretend you’re talking to your best friend.

It sounds simple, but try it for me right now.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend she’s fat for eating a donut or point out all of her physical flaws. You’d tell her she looks great because chances are, you don’t notice those things she doesn’t like about herself. You only see the things that make her beautiful.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend she’s a bad mom. You’d tell her all of the things you admire about her parenting and that you can see how happy and loved her children are.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend she’s a failure for forgetting something. You’d tell her that she has a lot on her plate, and that no one is perfect all the time. And you’d probably say how much she inspires you.

You wouldn’t tell your best friend she isn’t worthy of love. You’d tell her that relationships are hard, and that sometimes people disagree and that’s ok. And you’d encourage her to remember how much you both love each other no matter what.

It’s such an easy thing to do, but so many of us don’t do it. Can you imagine how much better your days would be if you reframed every thought this way? If you started being kind to yourself, and remembered that you are only human?

Human nature in it’s most basic form is imperfect. We have been since the minute Eve bit into the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden. We are fallen, and therefore will always find ways to mess things up.

And God loves us anyways. If you can’t find a way to reframe any of the other negative thoughts you throw at yourself in the day, atleast try to remember that very important one. God loves us exactly as we are. Every flaw, every sin, every mistake.

A new month is always a good time to get our goals and priorities in line. There really is something about symbolic fresh starts, even if it is just a date on the calendar, amiright?

I hope this month you choose to be kind to yourself, and start speaking in your mind the way you would to your best gal pal. Make that small change a priority, and watch how it changes your days, your outlook, and your relationships.

Because you really are wonderful, and you deserve the grace you give to everyone else, sis.